Waking Up!

One of my favorite books was written by a Jesuit Priest from India, Anthony de Mello. In Awareness, de Mello begins by announcing that spirituality is about ‘waking up’. That statement has become the first of 12 Things That I Believe. In short chapters de Mello explores spirituality and human relationships in a simple but profound manner. I can trace several fundamental ‘ways of seeing the world back to Awareness. I am stilled surprised when I realize that this book on spirituality helped me understand human relationships.

De Mello encourages us to consider that we choose our feelings. We are not able to choose our immediate reactions but we do have the possibility of making choices about long term feelings. As one who ‘leads’ with her feelings it took me awhile to accept that truth...but I now believe it.

I can either feed hurt, pain, anger, sadness or, after dealing with the situation and facing it, I can choose my feelings rather than be trapped by feelings. De Mello also introduced the concept that “I” am not the same thing as my feelings.

Then he states simply,
“Put this program into action a thousand times: a. identity the negative feelings in you; b. understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality; c. do not see them as an essential part of “I”; these things come and go; d. understand that when you change, everything changes.”
In a relatively short book I found the ‘solution’ for what we have called ‘codependency’ for many years... my owning what belongs to me, my taking care of myself and not blaming other people for how and what I feel. Another person can’t or doesn’t make me feel a particular way. When I don’t like something in someone else it’s usually because I see in them something of my own self which I cannot admit or accept in myself. Mostly I laugh when I see how true de Mello’s statements are.
What do you think about de Mello's perspective? How do you feel about what he proposes?
Mimi Raper